One of the greatest blessings I’ve had is to be allowed to reap the consequences of my sin in a less-than-full manner than what is deserved. I pray for the daily visibility of my inadequacy so that I don’t harm those around me. In 1 Chronicles 4:9-10, Jabez asks that the Lord bless him to escape the specter of the meaning of his name, “pain”. Similarly, it is for this reason that I desire God’s blessing of the food, warmth, and relationships that sustain me, but particularly His Holy Spirit’s filling when I am in lack so that I don’t cause other’s pain or harm to His church and those who would come to know him. I’m sharing this because I don’t view the sorrow over my sin this way consistently. I often question, “Why am I not seeing the fruit of the Holy Spirit in my life? I don’t FEEL like I’m loving, joyful, peaceful, patient, kind, good, faithful, gentle, or self-controlled.” I was recently reminded by my wife that it is because I’m His that this bothers me. So, what I should be fearing is the lack of consciousness or conscience in the areas I am failing in. We’ve all heard it, in Romans 16:18 God warns that “pride goes before destruction (a fall)”. However, in Proverbs 24:16, the Holy Spirit reveals through Solomon that “the righteous man falls seven times and rises again”. In Romans 1, the Holy Spirit, through Paul, explains that God gives people over to a “debased mind” when they “suppress the truth” in their unrighteousness. So, the fact that I’m troubled by, and want to change my contrary behavior is proof of His work in my life. Galatians 3:24-25 explains that “the law was our schoolmaster” to bring us to faith in Christ, and that after this, we have no need for a schoolmaster. It’s because after this, God’s very Spirit brings life and awareness when we are moving in ways that are contrary to Him and our new nature. It’s a continued position of brokenness that draws me to God through Jesus.